North Star Parenting serves as a framework for parents seeking to support their children who are exploring their gender identity. Not all children who explore turn out to be gender expansive. But parents who are supportive through the exploration, wherever it may lead, can build deep trusting bonds with their children.
With North Star Parenting, the goal isn’t to transition your child – and neither is it to stop them from transitioning. Instead, the goal is to truly listen to your child, to hear what they have to say, how they feel, and help them as they explore their gender. The goal is to keep the lines of communication open and maintain a positive relationship with your child. Your role, parents, is to be their parent – in most situations, we’re providing support, unconditional love, and helping our children as they grow. That’s what North Star Parenting is all about.
There’s no right answer to the question, “Is my child transgender?”, not one that fits every child. To answer that, you’ll need to work with your child, and experts in the area, to help determine what your child needs in their life. Some children will transition, some will not, but supporting them as they explore is just good parenting.
“Isn’t this obvious?”, I hear some people ask. Well, yes, it is, when you think of it objectively.
But when you’re in the midst of this – your son wearing nail polish and barrettes, the media is telling you that this is wrong, school administrators calling meetings with you to discuss what other parents want you to do about your child – it’s challenging for parents to know how to respond.
Parents can feel pulled in multiple directions. Societal norms say boys and girls should behave in certain ways. Religious beliefs can dictate views on LGBTQ people. Political parties have found that anti-trans rhetoric and laws can be a powerful driver of votes. What if you’re caught in the middle of these competing forces?
North Star Parenting helps you by ensuring that you place your child’s needs front and center. Your house of worship thinks trans kids should disappear? Not relevant to your decisions about your child’s gender identity. Because they don’t make those decisions about your child – you and your child do. And by placing your child’s health and happiness at the center of your decisions, you’re more likely to come to decisions that will help your child thrive.
North Star Parenting encourages parents to approach gender exploration with empathy, understanding, and the fundamental goal of supporting their children as they navigate their unique journeys, wherever they may land.